


Make Me Forget

by goldenrazzmatazz



Series: Pre-Endgame [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Edging, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Light Angst, Light BDSM, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Porn with Feelings, Post-snap, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-14
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2020-03-05 09:53:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18826276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldenrazzmatazz/pseuds/goldenrazzmatazz
Summary: After the battle of Wakanda, you return to the Avengers compound. There, you bump into the one person who knows you best, The God of Thunder. Luckily, while you need to lose control, he needs to regain feeling that he has it.*Takes place after Infinity War, but before Endgame. There are no spoilers for Avengers: Endgame in this story.





	Make Me Forget

_”You should have gone for the head."_

Even after you had returned to the compound with the rest of the Avengers, the words echoed through your mind. It was a taunt, directed at the man who had quickly become your last hope at defeating Thanos, and you knew that it would burn him deeper than any wound he received from the battle. 

You had fought valiantly during the battle of Wakanda. As an ex-agent of SHIELD, you had all of the combat experience required to fight Thanos' army, and you had done a fairly decent job, given the circumstances. You fought alongside Agent Barnes for a while, slaying enemies with your sword while he shot them with his assault riffle, before you had moved to support Natasha, Wanda and Okoye. The four of you managed to defeat Thanos' children, but weren't strong enough to fight The Mad Titan himself. 

You clenched your fist, staring as the deep layer of blood, dirt and dust covering your skin cracked and broke like an dehydrated soil.  The team had been so close.  As Wanda attempted destroy Vision-no, you corrected yourself, attempted to destroy the mind stone- you had followed on Natasha's heels as she attacked Thanos. You had given it your all, swinging both of your Vibranium swords in an arc at the Titan, but he flicked you aside like you were an insect. You had watched in horror as he swung his fists at Steve, your best friend, knocking him to the ground instantly. You had heard the crack as his neck snapped, and were almost relived when Thanos used the mind stone, bringing him back to life.

You shook your head in an attempt to clear the memory. Blinking away tears, you took in your current surroundings. Your room in the compound was dirty, uninhabited since you had decided to side with Steve during the Sokovia Accords. You had felt guilty at the time, but not as guilty as you did now. You had betrayed Tony. Tony who was also most likely dead. You walked to the shower at the end of the hall, trying not to think about all of the people who had died. Wanda, Vision, Sam, Bucky, T’Challa. The list when on and on, and you knew it wouldn’t do you any good to think about it. Instead, you forced yourself to think about what you had gained. Disgusting that you had even entertained the thought that there was something to be gained from the awful day, but there was. Thor was back on earth.

He had arrived during the bleakest moment of the battle. It had seemed that all was lost when the rainbow emerged from the sky. You would have recognized the bifrost anywhere.

You worked the shampoo through your hair, thinking about the Asgardian that you had once called your own. Although you and Thor had had a rocky start to your relationship, you had become close. However, he hadn’t wanted to become physical. He was afraid of hurting you, that he would start something and then need to leave without saying goodbye. Eventually, you had become intimate, and it was fantastic.

You showered, massaging the wounds and taking note of the damage. There was a large cut on your bicep where one of the creatures had bitten you. A burn mark on your stomach where Proxima Midnight’s wand had touched. Bruising across most of your body from various hits. However, you were unscathed compared to the rest of the team. The blood poured off of your body and onto the floor of the shower. A spiral of red circled the drain before disappearing into the plumbing.

As you towelled yourself off, you noticed hints of red on the white fabric. You couldn’t tell if one of your own wounds was leaking or if it was blood you had missed, but you left it. You didn’t have the energy to take another shower. You quickly changed into a pair of training pants and an oversized Stark industries sweatshirt that you had left in the compound. Walking down the hallway, you wondered briefly if the outcome would have changed if the Avengers hadn’t broken up years earlier. If they had been a united front, would they have been able to defeat Thanos? No, you responded, there wasn’t anything you could have done. He had been too strong. Even Bruce’s description prior to the battle made him sound like an impossible enemy to bear. You had had hope before, but now, your spirit was broken.

You heard the footsteps behind you a moment before you the shadow caught pace with you. You swung, instinctively, throwing yourself into a defensive stance, your muscles aching at the sudden movement. It was just Thor, staring a few feet behind you. He looked exhausted, shoulders slumped and his head towards the ground. You could tell by looking at his face that he was blaming himself for the defeat, and you honestly couldn’t blame him. Not because he had failed to kill Thanos, nobody could blame him for that, but because he had disappeared off of earth years earlier without a trace.

“I haven’t seen you in a while.” You spoke, bitterly.

He stared at you, unblinking. You shifted uncomfortably under the weight of his gaze. You wanted to scream at him. Shout. You wanted to hit him and tell him how much pain he’s caused you over the past few years.

"Where were you?" You questioned, taking a step towards the god.

A part of you, the rational part, knew that you were only partially angry with him for abandoning the team. The rest of you knew that you just wanted him to yell back. In reality, you wanted to feel his anger. Feel something other than the immense grief that threatened to overwhelm you.

“For fucks sake, Thor. Say something.” Still, he refused to speak. You stepped even closer, your faces inches apart. "We needed you! And you vanished!" Thor looked up, acknowledging your presence for the first time.

"It wouldn't have mattered much, (y/n). Quite a few people needed me and I let them all down."

Hands clenched in fists, you swung at him, stopping inches away from his face. You wanted to scream, to tell him how much of an idiot he had been, leaving you.

There was nothing banning relationships between the Avengers, Bruce and Natasha had been flirting with one another for months, but it wasn’t something that you particularly wanted to make public. You didn’t want to hear Tony’s mockery or see Steve’s disapproving stares. So the two of you had decided to keep in on the down-low. But the two of you had been good together. Not just the sex, you wouldn’t have doubted that a god knew how to fuck, but everything. You knew how to fight alongside one another, how to cuddle, when to kiss and when to leave each other alone. And he had thrown it all away.

“And you let me down first, didn’t you?” You didn’t have a chance to scream before he shoved you against the wall, one hand pressed against your chest, the other touching your throat.

“Don’t push me.” He growled, and then leaned his head on your shoulder, “Please. Not today.”

You examined his face. In the dark, you could barely make out his eyes, but you could tell by the rest of his appearance that the years hadn’t been kind. He had a long, jagged scar on one side of his face, and his long hair, proof of victory in Asgardian culture, had been chopped off. With one finger you traced the scar, his eyes fluttering shut.

“(Y/N), I can’t. I’ve failed everyone around me. Don’t let me fail you as well.”

With your other hand, you traced his abdominal muscles through the sweatshirt. Light touches, ones you knew would drive him wild. “I need you.” You mumbled into his ear, before pressing a kiss to his jawline. Instantly his lips crashed into yours. He kissed gently at first, but then became more aggressive, biting on your lip and sucking it as you kissed. You moaned, he was walking a tightrope of pleasure and pain. The bites made your lips more sensitive to the kisses, and the kisses made you crave the bites. You pushed back with just as much force. You knew what you needed, something rough, something to prove you were still alive. If that’s what you wanted though, you were going to give him the same treatment.

“Thor,” You murmured, pulling away. He stopped instantly, and his eyes met yours. “I need this rough. Please.”

He blinked for a moment before speaking, “Do you remember the safe word?”

A ghost of a smile appeared over your lips. It had been years, but your safety was still his first priority.

“Starbucks.”

He grabbed your throat once more, not putting enough pressure to cut off your hair, but enough for you to feel his presence.

"You want to fuck the God of Thunder (Y/N)?" He whispered, lips hovering over your ear, "Prepare to be shocked."

Usually, the cheesy line would have been funny, but you were fuelled by the desperation.

Instead of laughing, you grabbed his jaw, feeling the prickle of the stubble underneath, and brought his lips to yours. Thor picked you up, and you instinctively wrapped a leg around his waist, yelping when he lifted you and smacked your body against the wall. Your head cracked against the drywall, but you barely felt it over the pain of your other injuries.

"Thor." You moaned between kisses, grabbing his bicep.

He didn't reply, instead grabbing a fist of your hair and pulling it sideways, exposing your neck. He pulled away, breaking the kiss. You moaned in irritation, but the moan quickly turned to one of desire as he began to kiss and bite his way down your neck. He sucked, and you stopped yourself from warning him not to leave a mark. Your body was already covered in bruises, what would be the harm of one more?

His hands slid down your waist, and you bucked your hips, silently pleading for more contact. He looked at you and raised an eyebrow, and you quickly nodded. He moved from the wall and carried you back to your room, lying you down on the bed and crawling overtop of your frame. You weren't small by any means, you were a skilled fighter and assassin, but looking at him overtop of you made you realize how insignificant you were compared to the God. Especially like this, when you had commanded him to take control. You whimpered, and reached up and kissed him again, one hand curled around the back of his neck, the other holding your weight. Slowly, his hand slid up your own arms, your skin making goosebumps where his fingers traced.

"We've suffered a great loss today, (y/n)." He whispered, and you squeezed your eyes shut. You were doing this to forget your pain, so why was he reminding you of it?

"Shut up." 

"I don't want you to make this decision out of grief." He replied, and leaned back. For the first time, you noticed that his eyes were two distinctly different colours. Strange, seeing that you'd known the man for over five years, that you hadn't noticed before.

"Shut up." You whispered again, placing your hand on his upper thigh. You rubber slowly, not close enough to give any real pleasure, but enough to make him crave more. Thor sighed, tilting his head back in pleasure. 

"You don't want to tease me, girl." 

You kept rubbing, purposefully ignoring the area between his legs. He gave you another look, and you nodded.

Thor was a gentleman, and he wouldn’t do anything without your consent. That being said, you wanted him to fuck you raw. Thor rubbed two fingers over your underwear, and you moaned loudly.

“Look at me.” He snapped, and you forced yourself to meet his gaze.

He was staring, intently at your face as your squirmed beneath him, and you blushed.

“Please.” You whispered, but you weren’t sure what you were asking for. You didn’t know if it was for more friction, him inside of you, or simply for him to make you feel whole again.

“As you wish.” He slid two long fingers inside of you, and you buried your face in the crook of your neck. It burned slightly, his hands were large and while you were aroused, you weren’t prepared for the sudden insertion.

“Are you alright?” He whispered, and you nodded. He slowly began pumping his fingers inside of you, and you moaned again.

“Harder. Please, I need you to take control.” He didn’t reply, and for a moment you wondered if he had understood. Then, he began pushing with more force, and you cried out softly. As his fingers slid inside you, he rubbed your clit with his thumb. He circled it slowly, barely skimming the surface. Then, when you shifted your hips to give him easier access, he lifted his thumb entirely. You realized the he was trying to tease you. Despite that, you felt the familiar pressure building in your abdomen. It felt like a spring, coiling tighter, about to break. Your muscles began to tighten, and you tightened around his fingers.

Just as it was about to reach it’s breaking point, just as you were about to explode in pleasure, Thor removed his fingers. Your pussy clenched at nothing and you bucked in the air, frustrated and angry at the lack of friction.

“Did I tell you you could cum, (Y/N)?” Thor asked, raising an eyebrow. All trace of the days pain was erased from his face. He was enjoying this. “I thought you said I was in charge. Does that not mean I get to decide when you feel pleasure?” He pinched your nipple and you gasped, “When you feel pain?” His hand slid across your stomach, a trail of gooseflesh following it. He pulled away from you, and crawled backwards of the bed. His sat head between your thighs and you stilled in anticipation, watching as he hovered over your core. “I asked you a question.”

You nodded.

“Who chooses when you orgasm, (Y/N)?” As he spoke, Thor slid one finger over your clit, and slowly began to trace fingers around it. He pinched it, and started rubbing it. You moaned in response, and he pulled away again. “Don’t make me ask again.”

You looked up at him, smirking. “Or else what?”

“Or else I’ll tie you up here.” He growled, and you felt another pang of arousal shoot through you, “Touch you for hours, fucking you over and over again without letting you cum, and I’ll leave you here dripping. Unable to touch yourself.”

Your eyes fluttered shut as the image overtook you. Fuck, it was hot, and it didn’t help that as he spoke he kept breathing onto your already sensitive bud.

“So who chooses when you orgasm, (Y/N)?” He slid a finger over your clit, barely making contact before he pulled away.

“You, Thor!” You nearly shouted, “It’s you. You’re in charge. Please, fuck.”

He smirked before leaning forward and licking you, causing you to shift your hips.

He placed one hand over your abdomen to keep you still, and continued to eat you out. You squirmed, but once he pushed down with more pressure you stilled, trying to remain still for him. 

Before he had left, you’d played this game many times before. After a particularly difficult battle, you needed to lose control, and sometimes he needed to feel like he had regained it back. Dabbling in light BDSM had worked perfectly for the both of you.

You moaned as your would-be second orgasm began to approach. Thor was working you with your mouth and your fingers, and it was bringing you to the edge faster than you would have liked.

“Mmph” You moaned, “Thor, I’m close.”

He pulled away for a moment as he breathed, “Did I give you permission?”

You felt yourself clench at the words and you shifted uncomfortably. Your orgasm was coiling, and your toes curled as you tried to hold it back. You knew what he was about to say, and it wasn’t the answer you wanted.

“Please, Thor? May I cum?” You gasped as he returned to eating you out, his tongue flicking rapidly.

He didn’t answer at first, but continued to work on your clit. You knew however, that no answer meant no. You tried to cross your legs, but his face was in the way. You shifted, and then focused on steadying your breathing to prevent yourself from falling over the edge. About ten seconds later, Thor pulled away and you gasped, unsure if it was because of the lack of stimulation or because you no longer had to hold your orgasm back. He was kissing you again, and you tasted yourself on his tongue.

He kissed you slowly, with more passion then before as he cupped your face.

“Are you alright?” You nodded, reaching for him and tracing the scars covering his body.

“May I enter you?” You nodded again, but he shook his head. “Darling, I need to hear you say it.” You had missed this. Missed him, and how he always knew exactly what he needed. More than that, you missed how he constantly checked in with you, asking if you were okay and asking for permission before he did anything.

“Yes, please, Thor. More than anything I want you.” You corrected yourself, “I mean, I want to feel you.”

He smiled before sliding into you. He stretched you further than his fingers had, and you squirmed. It wasn’t uncomfortable, he had prepped you, but it was a feeling you had missed. You hadn’t felt it since, well since he had left. He stilled for a moment, letting you grow accustomed to your length.

“No more games, okay?” He whispered in your ear and you nodded. You began to shift your hips, signalling that he could move.

Slowly, he thrusted into you. You moved your hips in time with his. The two of you picked up a rhythm and you met him, thrust for thrust. He kissed you as you fucked, tenderly, and for a moment you pretended that this wasn't just about the sex. You pretended that he was doing this because he had missed you, because he loved you.

Thor had edged you three times already, and your climax was building rapidly. He wasn't trying to dominate you anymore, and as you moaned he began to whisper in your ear,

"Beautiful. You're so beautiful, (Y/N)."

As your orgasm built, you felt your heard skip at the words. Nobody else had made you feel so safe.

“Please, Thor.”

“Come for me, (Y/N).” You called his name again as your orgasm overtook you, waves of pleasure spreading from your core. You gasped, and stilled underneath the god. It was intense, and your entire body felt like it was being shocked.

Thor's orgasm quickly followed, and he moaned loudly as he buried himself inside you. He bit your neck as he finished, muffing a moan. Stroking his hair, you whispered praises in the God of Thunder's ear.

He rolled off of you, and you noted that he didn't have the same post-orgasm glow he once had. Free from distractions, you used the closeness to your advantage, staring at the God. You noted the heavy bags under his eyes, the short hair, and the scar more clearly.

You touched his harm, stroking it slowly. You wanted to say something, anything. That the events of today weren't his fault. That you didn't blame him. That you missed him, and needed him now more than ever. However, he spoke first.

"I let you down, (Y/N)."

"What?"

"I left you. I left the Avengers. I left Earth to rule on Asgard, and I couldn't rule there either."

"Thor, no."

"Asgard is gone."

You gasped and sat up, staring in shock.

"Loki is dead."

"I thought Loki was already dead."

Thor waved his hand in the air.

"He wasn't, he'd tricked me. He's dead now. Thanos snapped his neck in front of me."

The snap of Steve's neck echoed in your mind. You had been lucky. He had been lucky.

"Heimdall as well, killed by Thanos. And the Warriors Three were killed by Hela."

You didn't know who Hela was, but you knew the others were some of Thor's closest and oldest friends. You felt a pang of guilt shoot through you, and you chewed on your lip.

"I can't disappoint you again."

"You won't, you haven't." You stuttered, eyes wide.

"I'm afraid I already have. Goodbye, (Y/N)." Thor climbed off the bed, pulling his pants up as he walked.

"Thor!" 

But he was already gone.

 


End file.
